Mediation Experience
The journey to stillness begins with embracing chaos. Meditation is a way to bring stillness into our day to day lives, allowing us to better navigate the chaos by building a better mind-body connection.
It was initially very difficult for me to mediate however with practice the journey has been rather rewarding~
What is mediation for me?
My personal experience with mediation has brought me to a realization that the stillness comes from a place of surrender. As the ancient one states in the movie Doctor Strange, “ You cannot beat a river into submission; you surrender to its current and use its power as your own”. As an individual surrenders to the currents of the mind; allowing it to wander into the arena of constant thoughts without forcing it to quiet down, the mind automatically starts to slow down. The more we go deeper into our meditation practice, the buildup lawyers of conditioning start to emerge to be addressed. The more we slow down; we are able to respond rather than react. Slowing down allows for us to pay attention to all components of life; see the bigger picture and not react out of fear or hastily.
Becoming aware of your Shadow’s:
As I continued to practice meditation, I became aware of my shadow aspects. As talked about by Carl Jung, anything we disown within us leads to our shadow self (i.e. all behaviors and traits that have been repressed and become part of our unconscious mind). Often times we project our shadow self onto other people without realizing that these aspects resides within us, which need to accepted and integrated. The more we become aware of these aspects the more we are able to process it and become whole by accepting and loving those parts of ourselves which we deem to be unworthy and not enough.
A best way to sum it up would be as stated by Maya Angelou who quoted Terrence, “Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto”, or “I am human, and I think nothing human is alien to me.”
Embracing all of your emotions:
Another crucial component that I became aware of as I deepened my meditation was emergence of repressed emotions (e.g. Anger, Sadness, Jealousy, Fear, Disgust, Happiness, Love etc.). In our society certain emotions are looked at as good and rest as bad; which leads to repression of emotions or creating a judgement about having those emotions (e.g. Jealousy, Sadness). The more we judge or repress our emotions, the more stagnant they get and this leads to physical, emotional and mental problems. I have often judged myself when I cry or when I get irritated; I have always admired the calm and composed traits and have no problem embodying them however I have found myself shaming me for getting anxious or being afraid or being helpless. Embracing my vulnerability was something that didn't come naturally to me; it was hard. The idea that one can make mistakes and learn from them was not easy for me. Mediation allowed for me to sit with my emotions and learn to love them.
More Mental Clarity and Peace:
When there is immense uncertainty in life (unknown); the mind wants to constantly control the course of direction in order for us to feel safe. I have always stuck with a plan, organized my life and had a hard time letting go; hard time trusting; hard time surrendering. Sitting in a place of not knowing what is going to come next was not easy for me, with my mediation practice I have slowly come to embrace not knowing. I have developed the patience and trust in the universe that at the right time things will be revealed to me. I read Tosha Silver book Outrageously Open in which she said “ if you need to know it then you will know it when its time for you to know it”. Mediation practice has allowed for me to embody it; which in turn gradually bring out mental clarity by quieting the innumerable thoughts “ what ifs”.
It is not easy to build this into practice; it is not easy to surrender. It is also not easy to be ok not knowing or to accept that not everything has to make sense. However mediation as a mindfulness practice helps build mental clarity and peace from within which enables us to embrace life’s uncertainties.
I hope you enjoy your mediations as well and through this practice have come to learn a lot about yourself!